The weather was beautiful this morning, so I decided to eat breakfast outside. I went to a little cafe, and ordered the usual: iced coffee, two eggs over easy, and a 14 oz, dry-aged, New York strip steak. As I was reading my newspaper, I felt something bump into me, and nearly spilled my coffee. ”Hey man, watch out!” I said, putting my newspaper down and making eye-contact with the perpetrator.
And then I felt dumb. You see, turns out the dude that bumped in to me wasn’t actually a dude at all. It was a Bernese Mountain Dog strolling through the cafe, stopping at every table, simply to say whattup. I gave him a few pieces of steak, patted him on the head, and sent him on his way.
You may be asking yourself, “why was a dog just cruising through a cafe? Where was his owner?” The answer is simple. Some dogs just do what they want, when they want. If they want to get food at a cafe, they go to a freaking cafe. If they want to go to the park to sniff butts with other dogs, they don’t hesitate. They just do it. The reason why: no leash.
There are two kinds of dog-owners. The first is the I-am-going-to-enjoy-myself-at-the-expense-of-my-dog-because-I-am-a-terrible-person owner:
This owner is the worst. All that dog wants is to play in those leafs, but his owner gets some sort of sick high off of not allowing it. That’s why she’s walking the dog so close to that pile. Also take note of the fact that she’s got the leash rolled up to the point where the dog probably thinks he can reach the leaves. But he can’t. Not on her watch.
But then there’s the other kind of owner, who’s super chill and and never bothers to use a leash. He’s got the doggy door in his garage, and just lets his dog do whatever he wants.
“I’m tired. Oh perfect, a bench. Might as well post up here for a couple hours. Then I think I’ll go to a movie. Air Bud.”