Tag Archives: cats vs. dogs

Declaration of War

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Colonel Sendar and Captain Whitcraft have been privately discussing some strictly confidential matters over the last few days. And after much thought, we’ve decided that now is the time to finally make the following news official: we have declared war on cats.

Yes, all cats, big and small, fat and skinny, black and white.  There will be no survivors.  We’ve got the weapons and fighter pets to achieve absolute and total victory.  Every “family” that currently calls one of these terrorist delinquents its pet, has two choices: join our team, or, rather unfortunately (more like not unfortunately),  you’re fucked.

We’re going to kill you.  And to anybody who thought this blog was “cute” or “adorable” has been mistaken. We’re not.  We’re fucking mean.  And we hate cats.

To prove that we are serious and actually do mean business, we’ve included two recently taken photographic images of us ready for battle.  With our dogs.  Obviously.

Captain Whitcraft, Tuesday September 7 2010, 15:42, Afghanistan:

And Captain Sendar, Thursday September 9 2010, 16:28, Kuwait:

Dogs > Cats

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I know we’ve thrown out this question before about cats vs. dogs, but let’s be real, whoever thought that cats had a legitimate shot at winning? Well, we have further proof that cats are awful pets.

After seeing this picture, can we even still call cats “pets”? How about “domesticated”?? This cat is clearly being a douche bag, and I don’t believe there is a clause in the definition of “domesticated” that allows for animals to just be plain old disrespectful. Yeah, yeah, the cat may be making a sweet fort and all, but do you really think you’re invited? No chance! That cat is going to hang out alone in that fort without you, and you can’t have any of that paper towel either.

P.S. There’s no chance the cat cleans up after its playtime either.

Cats -1